On July 11, 1971 the world was given a gift. My little brother was born, and please don’t tell him I said that. I’ve always been the big sister, and he’s always been the little brother. Yet he has always been an inspiration to me, as well as to others around him. My brother Ray is one of three brothers that I’ve been blessed with in this life. I had an older half-brother from my dad’s first marriage, Joey. I didn’t see him too much growing up as he lived with his mother. He’d visit now and then and I have fond memories of him, but I wouldn’t say we were really close. I also had a younger brother, the youngest of my mother’s three children, Johnny. Unfortunately Johnny passed at just under two months old from SIDS. I remember Johnny being in our home. I remember trying to hold him. I remember him lying on the couch as my mom folded laundry with us there in the living room too. I remember watching him lie in his crib. I remember my mother going across the street to a pay phone the New Year’s that day he died, to call an ambulance because he wasn’t breathing that morning… we didn’t have a phone at the time. I remember someone coming to stay with us as my parents went to the hospital, and then I remember seeing my parents come up the stairs a while later. My mother was sobbing, my dad was holding onto her, and they told us that Johnny was gone. My little brother Ray and I were left to grow up together with my parents. It was he and I against the world.

The name Raymond means protector, and that is a role that he has always held. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that he was given that name. From the time he was young, he’s always been a fierce protector. We faced some difficult times growing up, and I remember he would tell my mother that he’d always be there to protect us and her. He also said that when he grew up he was going to live out in the country on a farm with lots of dogs so no one would bother him. It’s eerie how close he’s come to that premonition. As children we played in the streets together, roamed the hills together, played outside and inside together… laughing, fighting, and loving as brothers and sisters do. We’ve had some disagreements and even some big fights, but at the end of the day I never doubt that he loves me and I love him.

My brother wasn’t the type to openly stand up for me and stand between me and danger, but I always knew he had my back and that he would be there when I needed him. He’s always been more of a silent force of comfort and security. He’s been a rock in our family for longer than even he probably realizes. He has always been a defender of the weak, and been a true moral compass. He has an ability to see the black and white of things, and to know which side is the right one to be on. He has always cared for and worried about those he loves, and tried to accomodate people, support people, and lead them to opportunity. He is a voice of reason when things seem convoluted and impossible. He has a talent for explaining situations and laying things out so that you can see the way out. He is a true leader.

Again not surprisingly, he ended up with a career in law enforcement after trying a few other things before setting on that course. His 25 year career recently came to fruition with his retirement as chief of police. He worked his way up from patrolman and ended his career with the honor of leading a group of men and women who stood where he once stood himself. He cared about those under him in rank, and he understood where they were because he had been there once too. All these things contributed to his natural leadership ability. He brought life experience and compassion to the table. He has touched more lives than he will ever know because of this.

We grew up on the poorer side of town, or as a friend of mine used to say jokingly, “the wrong side of the tracks”. It was and still is a very blue collar working class neighborhood. My brother never forgot where he came from and remained involved with the community long after he’d grown up and was established in his career. He organized an annual Christmas party for underprivileged children in the area for years. He wanted to make sure that those children had at least one gift every year, had a day to forget their troubles and to just be kids and have fun. He wanted to give them a respite from what for some of them was a life of daily stress and struggle. For one day, they didn’t have to worry and the day was just about them being carefree and being pampered. I was lucky enough to help with that party one year, and it is a day I will always remember. I was so proud of my brother for helping to make that day possible for those kids. He jokes about his heart being the size of the Grinch’s but don’t let him fool you, he has always cared.

My brother has been happily married for over 20 years to an amazing woman. They have an equally amazing young daughter. I often think about how she really hit the jackpot to have my brother as her dad. He loves her unconditionally, constantly telling her how smart she is, how wonderful she is, how beautiful she is, and he never lets her forget how proud he is of her. This is one of the reasons that she is the force that she is, she knows where she stands with him and in life. He has also been a loving uncle to my own daughter, helping her to get a foothold in life after she graduated from college. He helped her to buy a car to get to the job that he helped her find. He also helped to introduce her to the man that is now her husband the father of her son. He teases her that she wouldn’t have anything without him, and although I know he is only kidding her and would never mean any harm by saying that, the truth is that he did play a huge part in getting her to where she is now. Uncle Ray has always had her back too.

My brother loves big. He cares a lot. He tries to pretend that it’s nothing that anyone wouldn’t do, and he is a humble man. We all know that he has given so much to all of us for his entire life. He helps a friend in need whenever he can. He will be the first to organize a fundraiser for someone who needs a hand up, he will lend you a tool or a car if you’re in a jam, he will listen to your troubles and try to help you find a way out. He does these things not because he wants to be a hero, but only because he doesn’t know how to be any other way. He truly believes that we are all here to help one another, and he exemplifies that every day of his life.

Today, on his birthday, I wish him all the best things in life. I hope he is infinitely happy and at peace with his life. He has contributed so much to those around him, and I only hope that it all comes back to him tenfold. He’s a big roasted marshmallow, tough on the outside and soft on the inside. We are all better because we’ve been lucky enough to be here at the same time as him. I will always be proud of him and I will always love him. Happy 50th little bro.