I hope you all had a wonderful holiday. Mine was spent with family and tons of snow for Christmas, it was fantastic! The snow came down in buckets and made it really feel Christmasy and magical. Babcia was happy, my new grandson was adorable without even trying and everyone was just glad to be together, as it should be. I am grateful.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t all sweet and perfect. Seems life never is one thing at a time though, is it? We must always be prepared to juggle things, people, emotions, and situations in order to move forward. On Christmas day our family lost a beautiful soul, my Aunt Joyce. She succumbed to Covid-19 after only a few days of illness. We received word that she was ill and had been taken to the hospital via ambulance on Christmas Eve day. By Christmas morning she was deteriorating quickly. By Christmas night, she was gone. It was a seemingly quick process that left us all jolted and surprised. No one knows how long she’d been feeling ill or symptomatic. What we do know is that in the end, she made a very brave decision. Aunt Joyce (my dad’s sister) made it clear that she did not want to be kept alive with machines or procedures but that she’d rather leave peacefully and naturally. Her wish was granted.

All of us cousins have different memories of Aunt Joyce, I’m sure, depending on our ages and how close we were to her or how often we saw her. My memories of her are good ones. She had always been sweet and kind to me as a child, and into adulthood. Aunt Joyce, or Aunt Joker as some of us called her, was very artsy and crafty. She enjoyed creating things and she loved to read. Each Christmas, she would give us hand-crafted ornaments for our tree that she had made her self from ordinary objects around the house. They were always cute and festive and we’d hang them on our tree. She’d date them with the year and our collection grew over time. She made tea sets, jewelry, and decollage pieces. She knitted and she made quilt hangings. I have one of her quilt hangings that I will always treasure. Aunt Joker was definitely an artisan at heart. She loved color. Her clothes were always bright and joyful, usually paired with matching bracelets or necklaces that she had made. She loved to wear rings to match her outfits. Aunt Joyce had a creator’s personality. When my daughter was born, she made outfits and blankets for her. She loved all the children in our family. Since she lived close to us growing up she would usually join us for Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners, especially as she got older. She had survived being widowed, survived cancer, and the death of a dear companion later in life. She was strong… stronger than she realized I think. Whenever I’d see her, she always said “I love you” to me and gave me a big hug.

One of my favorite memories of her was not very long ago. I’d just been through a painful divorce and felt like I was floundering and struggling. It was around the holidays and she’d come to join us for dinner once again. Aunt Joyce pulled me aside and said that she’d just found out that I had divorced, she hadn’t known. She asked me if I was doing okay. She hugged me. She spoke to me from the experience of loss. Then she said to me, “You know, the longer you live alone, you will come to enjoy it. You won’t want to give up your freedom again after a while.” I knew what she meant. She was telling me that I would grow stronger in time and that I could make it on my own. She was reminding me. Those words from her came just when I needed them, and I will never forget that conversation.

There has been so much loss this past year. I am sure so many of you have similar stories… involving Covid-19 or otherwise. It seems we are all marching into 2021 with loss of one kind or another. Loss of a loved one, loss of a job, loss of security, loss of freedoms, loss of confidence in where we are headed. We have to remember to let the loss be and to carry only the love with us into the new year. We are here because we are meant to go on. We will thrive again. I believe all those we’ve lost are pushing us forward and rooting for us. I know Aunt Joyce is, and I hear her telling me that we can make it.