A few days ago I was out and about and I overheard part of a conversation. This person was expressing their frustration over people who either don’t speak English or speak broken English. My first instinct was to turn and look and them with a “Really??” look on my face, but I just ignored it and went on my way. Growing up with a parent from another place, I’ve encountered this my whole life. It angers me, it makes me want to go on a rant, but I usually don’t unless it’s someone I know well.

As I’ve told many times, my mother came to the United States at 15, not speaking a word of English. She learned English, along with math, American history, and cultural standards here in this country in order to become an American citizen legally. She had to; she also wanted to learn. She knew she was in a new place and had no choice but to adapt. So that’s what she did. However when you grow up speaking one language, your native language, you can’t just turn off a switch and suddenly sound like the average American citizen. Your language becomes a blended version of the two, your broken English gets better with time, and you carry your accent with you your entire life. So even when you are speaking English it sometimes sounds foreign to someone who does not speak your native tongue. I could tell you of so many times when my brother or I had to translate what my mother was saying even though she was speaking English. Her brain was trying to process the English language, but her tongue was Polish through and through.

Some people are frustrated by this but what they don’t realize is how frustrating it is to the person trying to speak. To be heard and to be understood is a basic human need. Imagine the hardship of struggling to do just that every day of your life. Imagine trying to get just simple needs met and no one understanding what you are trying to say even though you ARE speaking their language. My mother forged through every day this way, although I did see it take a toll on her from time to time. She would get frustrated herself, and tired of trying over and over to explain herself to others. Yet she carried on, trying to communicate and to embrace her new life and new culture.

Someone I know recently brought up the fact that some see those who struggle with English as “stupid” or not as smart as they are. As if you must know the English language in order to prove your intellect to anyone else. To this I say, “Are you kidding me?!?” You, who speak only one language, are criticizing the person in front of you who speaks two completely different languages and manages to speak it fluently enough to get through their day in a country they were not born in? This blows my mind. While it is true that English is widely spoken throughout the world, it is not everyone’s first language. It’s a hard language to learn too, our rules and idioms don’t always make sense when you really break them down. We know it because we were born into it and have heard and spoken it our entire lives. But can you imagine coming from another country and hearing, “It’s raining cats and dogs”? How terrifying that would be.

Those whose native tongues are not the same as ours are no different, and they’re definitely not any less intelligent than we are. I am lucky enough to know that because of my mother. All the things she has tried to express are the same things I express… love, anger, frustration, care, sadness, joy. Her feelings are the same as mine, they just sound a little different coming out of her mouth. It doesn’t make her “slow” or “stupid”, in fact just the opposite is true. I think it makes her even more intelligent. The fact that she can express herself in two completely different languages is amazing to me. English is taught to children in some countries because of it’s wide use, and so those children grow up speaking two languages. But how bold do you have to be to leave your country of origin not knowing the language of the place you are going, as an almost-adult, and to learn and use speech that is nothing less than complicated. Anyone who has ever done that in any language is very intelligent in my eyes.

I admire and love my mother and I am proud of her, in English and in Polish. Ja cie kocham Mama.