I recently got a new haircut. I went completely crazy and had my hair cut short. The long stringy locks are gone. Personally, I love it. My mornings are easier and I just like the fun way it looks. My hair is very fine and thin; I got my dad’s hair. Dad’s side of the family gave me thinning hair, hazel eyes, and a love of music. (Thanks for the eyes and the music Dad.) My mom’s side of the family on the other hand mostly have nice, thick hair and you’ll see some blue eyes in the mix. My brother got THAT hair and of course he keeps it very short to show off his blueish eyes. (Thanks for nothing Mom.) The world is not a fair place.

Babcia and I each have an Echo device so we can video chat with each other several times a week. It’s more intimate and feels like we’re sitting in the same room chatting, which we both love. Much of conversation isn’t the words we speak but our body language and I like that I can see when she’s having a bad day or an especially good day. The Echo is a window into each others’ daily lives. It helps to shorten the 700-odd miles between us. It also allows us to share the changes in our lives and to comment.

After my haircut, I was speaking with Babcia via Echo one day. I waited for her to tell my how great my hair looked. I waited for her to say, “I really like it.” But the longer I waited, I realized she wasn’t going to say it. So finally I brought it up first. “Did you see, I got my hair cut off!” “I see that.” “I really love it, it’s so easy in the mornings.” “I just don’t know.” That’s when I knew Babcia did not approve. (Even though she herself has had short hair for years.) I laughed and asked her what she meant. “Well I just don’t know about that haircut.” “Everyone at work loves it, they’ve all commented on it.” “Really?” I learned long ago that Babcia speaks her mind and I don’t get crushed by it, I just accept that she has her own opinions and that is just fine. It’s one of the things we love about her. Looking at my sideswept bangs, she said, “Shouldn’t they have cut that piece a little bit shorter?” “No mom, that’s the way it’s supposed to look.” “Oh.” She didn’t stop there, she had more to say. “And I just don’t like that color on you.” I lightened my hair for years, dyeing it different shades of blonde. My natural color is a dirty blonde or very light chestnut brown. I stopped coloring my hair about 2-3 years ago just to eliminate the time it took and to simplify my life a little bit. “What do you mean?” “I don’t like that brown, it’s just… I don’t know.” “MOM, this is MY hair color. It’s the color you gave me at birth.” “Yeah, I know. But I don’t like it.” At this point I burst into laughter at her comments. She laughed a little too. Babcia loves like no one else, but she won’t stop short of telling you how she really feels no matter how much she loves you. I said, “Well I like it.” “I guess that’s all that matters.” (Savage.)

Babcia loves completely. She is also one of those souls who holds nothing back. She is all in, all the time. Full speed ahead… and if you can’t take it then you’d better not ask her. We all know this. I finally told her, “Maybe when you see it in person, you’ll change your mind.” “Maybe.” She probably won’t. But what she will do is soften up a little bit and say something like, “You know, it’s growing on me, maybe it’s not so bad.” Her thoughts and feelings come out like a bomb, and then she draws back in an effort to be kinder. Some might be hurt by this, but I actually am glad she is that way. You never have to guess with Babcia. You always know exactly where you stand. It is because of this that when she says she loves me, I know she means it from the bottom of her heart. She can’t lie, she can’t hide her feelings. Every time we get ready to hang up the phone, I say “I love you Mama.” And she says, “But I love you more.” I don’t know if that’s possible, but I know that she believes it with her whole heart and soul. And that’s enough for me.